as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize