So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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