i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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