im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
