need another drink. this is the easiest way
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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