Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize