i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I love having hate sex.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't want my vagina anymore.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
