I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
