My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
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Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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