i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
