Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
