I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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