I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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