i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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