Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
