whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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