She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊