I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym