Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
