dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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