The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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