are you still at the devil's house?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
