that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize