I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize