so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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