I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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