You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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