Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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