it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
