the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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