i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
