Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
