I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
