fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Will exercising make me less horny?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
