How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
