just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
