my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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