My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
