dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
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sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
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Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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