Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
