y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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