Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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