i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize