eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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