4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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