i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
