Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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