like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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