that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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