This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
