when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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