how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize