I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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