sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
