I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If I die, sorry about rent.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
