sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Naked. naked and bneed help.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
