Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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