I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My balls are so social today.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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