TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
