1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize